Category Archives: Creations

Worry-Doll

Crystal glass terrarium,
soft, smooth, glide, prove.

Inside, a male & female pair,
Dolls with whom this glass cave I share.

Performing for them everyday, ironic,
Encouraging breaking, reaching out.

And on my knees, head bowed I pray,
Learning whatever lesson it is today.

Punching, punching hard, on glass walls.
Punching my way out, for them.

Breaking free like shadow out of sun,
Like sun out of clouds, rushing air out of glass.

Shock wave force from out my heart,
Shatters the smooth glass cage I’m in.

That air, once trapped, now free,
Out I go flying, singing, “Follow me.”

Out I go, like kite in air,
but no string to reel me back again.

There, they sit and stare. Achieved
what they said, not wanted.

Aim and aspiration as lines to stay inside,
As safe space, not pathway to another place.

Crumble inwards little pair, separate and fall.
No longer are those walls so safe,

Nor comforting to little minds, I’m sure.
Come fly, fly free, but do not follow me.

Never-ending little space fractured by the power,
that you nurtured (unknowing, unwanted) in me.

This was not what you expected, for me,
To rise to such heights as to finally be free,

And wanted, and strong, and, well, me.
But in you go, and in you stay,

So crumple, little worry-dolls,
And no more think of me.

 

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Mezzanine

Warm hand upon my back,
As beneath my arms,
Upon which my head rests,
The emery board granite sits,
Sprayed, as I, by gusts of sea,
Mingled, lost, in the tears upon my face.

Pretty bird, small, hops on,
White painted panels,
Of a holiday shack,
By our promenade.
Light blue surrounds my bird;
Towels and flags, deck chair fabric.
Hopping little creature,
In a sea of its own.

Hide and seek played in,
Great woods of pine,
and bracken. Tall, and gone.
We never meant for it to end.
An endless time, joyful,
Spent together in love.

Crashing, cliche, but true,
Breakers crash on the wall.
Shore submerged, sinking,
and suffocated below.
Else the wind gusts, no respite,
Cold, but needed.

Held in but one hand,
I squeezed and squeezed,
Pressing nails into skin,
Leaving marks upon palm,
That would die off only hours later.
The bird died quicker.

Blue tit, great tit, wagtail,
I can’t decide.
Whichever one, it was not wise,
For now, I have nothing left,
But memories of those shifting sands,
And lies.

 

 

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GIMP, why won’t you love me?!

I.e. the free crowdsource image editing software.

*sighs* I try, you know? This is the first step in the whole “create” thing that I got going; putting my designs out there, seeing what happens, caz I have tons and they aren’t going anywhere right now.

LOVE visually designing things, one of my faves being music videos. I cannot listen to a song (except jazz) without making a design in my head for either stage performance of it or a filmed music video. I have years of designs of sets, choreography, costume designs, all hoarded in a file of loose papers of things that will probably never be made. And that’s a shame. So I’m going to try and make them, hopefully. And I’m going to try and create, like I’ve said. Problem is, most of them are quite ambitious, will need tools, knowhow and monies to actually create, so I’m starting with drawing them to a more recognizable standard. And writing them so that people will see them.

The accolade of first attempted goes to The Apple, it needs a real title. Effectively it is the Apple logo made true, made out of gold wire, about the height of your thigh in full rounded 3d mode, gaps between the wire as it bends to shape it – much like a cage. Out of the side is the iconic bite, made with a depression in the wire form that bends inwards, the rim of the depression soft, not sharp, as the wire changes direction. A stalk arises from the centre top, woven together from computer wires, the ones with multiple coloured wires, mainly green and red, the top of the stalk being the plugs at the end of them. Inside the wire Apple itself is a girl, barely able to fit inside, hunched over, her body following the curves of the wire as they wrap around her. The wire stalk reaches down, to inside, and ends at her stomach like an umbilical cord. Eyes open, she stares out blankly, seeing not watching, living not being.

That’s what I want to create. The girl would most likely be some form of flat cardboard, cut to fit inside the Apple. HW I’ve not had much practice at drawing on computers so my first try has not come out too well. I may see if I can get a hold of some wire and make it in miniature.

whyappl-copy